Let’s Talk About Sex in Midlife: What Every Woman Needs to Know with Dr Sian Hebron
In this candid conversation, Dr. Sian Hebron discusses a topic many midlife women think about but rarely talk about: sex. As our bodies change through perimenopause and menopause, our sexual experiences change too. Dr. Hebron explains that midlife offers an opportunity to redefine our sexual identity free from societal pressures. Whether you are experiencing physical discomfort, body image concerns, or mismatched desire, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways
Physical Changes Require Practical Solutions
Dropping estrogen and testosterone can cause vaginal dryness and decreased elasticity. Dr. Hebron recommends vaginal estrogen treatments that should continue as long as you want to remain sexually active. For decreased sensitivity, gentle clitoral stimulators may help because only 25% of women achieve orgasm through penetration alone.
Communication Is Essential
Many midlife women avoid discussing sexual needs with their partners, which can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. Dr. Hebron suggests setting aside dedicated time for these conversations outside the bedroom. Approach discussions with honesty about what you're experiencing physically and emotionally while reinforcing why intimacy matters to your relationship. Partners often don't understand the physical changes women experience unless we explain them.
Reigniting Passion Takes Playfulness and Exploration
Try resources like conversation card games (from organisations like The School of Life), educational platforms like OMG Yes, or simply make time for non-sexual touch and affection. Bringing back flirtation, dating, and playfulness can help couples rediscover each other sexually beyond established routines.
Testosterone Can Help Some Women with Low Desire
For decreased libido causing distress, testosterone supplementation may help. When it works (though not for everyone), it can significantly improve desire and mood. This requires medical supervision with proper monitoring, so discuss this option with a healthcare provider who takes your sexual health seriously.
Taking Charge of Your Sexual Wellbeing
Whatever your current sexual experience—whether you're in a relationship, single, or not currently interested in sex—your needs and desires are valid. If your doctor dismisses your concerns ("Why worry about that at your age?"), seek another provider, try telehealth options for more privacy, or explore reputable resources online. Remember that pleasure and intimate connection can remain important throughout your life, and if sex is painful or unsatisfying, solutions exist. Start by having honest conversations with yourself about what you want, then with healthcare providers and partners who respect your needs. You deserve a fulfilling, intimate life on your own terms, whatever that means for you.
Mentioned Resources:
Book: "Good Loving, Great Sex" by Dr Rosie King https://www.penguin.com.au/authors/rosie-king
Website: OMG Yes (research-based platform on female pleasure) https://www.omgyes.com/join
The School of Life conversation cards https://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/the-confessions-game/
Esther Perel - Where Should We Begin Cards https://game.estherperel.com/products/where-should-we-begin-a-game-of-stories-2nd-edition
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What you do today shapes your tomorrow. Your health matters because YOU matter.
Here’s to redefining midlife and making our next half of life even better than the first.
